Helen

Every once in a while, just for a moment, Saffron wonders if she should stop trying.

It's frustrating, in a way it never was on the island, when folks would come back and not remember being there before. He's got the memories in there somewhere, she truly believes that, but what he can reach is little more than grasping at smoke from what she's seen. He doesn't remember the moments that mattered. There's so much he should remember that he doesn't, and it seems wrong for her to just sit him down and tell it all to him. Especially when she isn't sure he even wants to know.

So every so often, she wonders if she should just give up. But the thought never lasts for long, because it's him, and Saffron can try to act like she doesn't care all that much, can try and call up the armor she wore for so long and the belief that arm's length was the closest anyone should get, but she knows damn well she'd sooner cut off a limb than give up on Dean Winchester. She passed the point of no return with him a long time ago.

She's got two big paper shopping bags with her when she knocks on his door. One of them has a simple meal of sandwiches and soup, the other has everything she needs to make a pear pie. Normally she brings them over already made, but she's hoping this time she can talk Dean into helping. She's not holding her breath.

Despite having thought about and talked about doing otherwise on more than one occasion, Saffron is still in the habit of walking home after work. Work and home are all the way across town from each other for her, but they had to do a hell of a lot of walking to get from place to place on the island so she's used to it. And now that she isn't doing most of the things she used to that kept her in great shape - dancing at the club, sparring with Dean, fencing with Lex - she can at least keep on walking.

It isn't so bad, anyway, and she's figured out a route that keeps her to well-lit streets after dark. Saffron can take care of herself just fine, but she isn't looking to attract trouble, or another lecture from a certain Scarlet Spider for being stupid about her safety. And so far, nothing dangerous has happened to her that would make her want to change how she does things, so she's still walking.

She's running a mental tally as she walks of what she's got at home, trying to figure out if she needs to stop at the grocery store tonight or if she can wait a few days. There's no breeze or anything that kicks up, at least that she can tell, but suddenly it seems a lot colder, and Saffron pulls her sweater tighter around her body.