[dated to August 27]

[jianhuo]

When Saffron walks to and from work, which is most of the time, she doesn't always take the same route. She's figured out a few different ways, all of them using well-lit streets without the need to cut through any suspicious alleys or the like. She knows the Scarlet Spider is out there guarding the streets, and possibly more like him, but Saffron would rather not take any chances. She's good, but last she checked she still isn't fast enough to dodge a bullet.

On one of her routes, there's a little bar. From the outside it looks decent enough, nothing too glitzy, but not a complete dump either. She's thought about stopping in for a drink from time to time, using her charm on some of the locals to see if she can find out more about Darrow. She's tried it a time or two in other places, with mixed results - well, mixed results in terms of information about the city. Saffron never has trouble gaining a man's attention or an invitation home...not that she's taken any of them up on it. Being with a local doesn't sit well with her, nor does she think it ever will.

Tonight she's on her way back from work, not particularly tired, not really in the mood to go home just yet. So when she passes by the little bar this time, she decides to go on in. Pushing inside, she heads straight to the bar, sitting down on one of the stools to wait for either the bartender to take her order or for some random guy to have a drink sent over. Usually, the latter's what ends up happening first. But then the bartender, who she hadn't been paying any mind before, turns toward her, and Saffron lets out an audible gasp. She knew he was here, knew he was around somewhere, but to see him now is a shock. "Sam!" she exclaims, even as she knows he won't know her.

That's all right. Saffron's already lost Sam Winchester once and got him back again. She can manage doing it a second time.

Comments

[theprodigalson]

Sam's been working in this bar for about a month now. It's an easy gig. Kills the time. He spends hours every night making drinks for people, listening in on their conversations, always on the look-out for anything that might seem like a possible case. He follows up on leads during the day, sometimes hunting down Dean to share though, most of the time Dean hardly cares.

But, honestly, it's the closest thing to normal Sam has ever felt. And, in this place, after everything else, Sam figures that has to count for something.

He's in the middle of filling up Mr. Mohan's third drink of the night when he hears someone calling his name and glances up to see a strikingly beautiful woman staring right at him. (One of these days, Sam thinks he might get used to this feeling, like he's missing a huge section of his life that he can't remember. It's a little like being a celebrity, but still wholly unnerving.)

Sliding the glass to his regular customer, Sam wipes his hand clean on the rag tucked into his pocket. "Do I know you?" he asks, his tone just barely polite if only because Sam's experiences with beautiful women have been, well... sordid at best.

[jianhuo]

It's a familiar sting, the one she gets when someone she cares deeply about looks at her with no trace of recognition. "No," Saffron replies. She knows from what she's heard that this Sam doesn't remember the island, not even a little the way Dean does, and he probably never will, the way it is with Spike and Max. "You wouldn't remember, at least. I'm Helen. I'm a friend - yours and Dean's both."

[theprodigalson]

Somehow, that really doesn't make Sam feel any better, still watching her carefully as she steps closer.

"Let me guess, the island?" he says, grabbing a glass from beneath the counter, but not yet filling it. Obviously, she can't be from the same time as Dean and be a friend to both of them and, as far as Sam knows, there's only one other place she might know him from. Even if Sam has no recollection of it himself.

[jianhuo]

"The island," Saffron confirms with a small nod. She wishes there were some way to make this sort of thing less awkward and strange, especially for the one who doesn't remember, but it is what it is, she supposes. "I knew you and your brother very well on the island."

[theprodigalson]

"So you know Neil, too," he guesses, reaching under the bar to pull out a bottle of one of the harder liquors. It doesn't come out as a question, but as more of an assumption. From what Neil's told him, Sam's under the impression that the island wasn't (or isn't; he still isn't sure how quantify time in this place) very large and that most everyone knew or at least knew of everyone else. "And Mike." He holds up the bottle. "Drink?"

[jianhuo]

"Sure. Just give me a shot of whatever that is," replies Saffron, not paying much attention to the label. She thinks briefly of her club, of how she'd had to be very careful with her stock so as to make it last a long time. That's not the case with the bars here. "I do know Neil, and Mike, and several other people here who also used to be on the island. Some of them remember it, some of them don't."

[theprodigalson]

Setting aside the glass, Sam pulls out a shot glass instead and fills it with scotch before sliding it her way, still eyeing her carefully. So far, Neil, Mike, and Dean are the only people Sam knows of with memories of this island but somehow he isn't surprised to know there are others. Even if that only makes him feel all the more alienated and uncomfortable.

He doesn't want to know how much this woman knows about him, the things he's seen and the things he's done. He doesn't want to know.

And yet he does.

"Whoever you knew back there," he says, lips still drawn in a thin line as he puts the bottle of booze back in place, "I'm not the same guy."

[jianhuo]

"Thank you," Saffron says, holding the shot glass for a moment before she knocks it back, closing her eyes against the burn. She sees the way he's looking at her, and she wishes she could just somehow make him know, make him see the friendship they used to have.

Setting the empty glass back on the bar, she looks over at him. "I kind of figured that," she replies, pausing as she looks back down at the bar. "You disappeared once on the island. When you came back you didn't remember - no one ever does. You weren't the same guy then, either. But both times, you and I were friends."

[theprodigalson]

Both times.

It's the first time anyone's indicated that he was on the island more than once, something Sam finds more than a little curious. But he also isn't entirely sure what to do with that information. He doesn't know those versions of himself any more than this woman knows him.

"So you expect the same to happen here?" he asks, wondering just how much those other versions revealed of himself, how much they knew that he currently doesn't, how far in the future or they past they may have been. It's all too unnerving to consider.

[jianhuo]

"I'm not expecting anything," she says, though that's not entirely true. She always expects to be deserted, unless she does it herself preemptively. She lifts her eyes back to Sam. "I hope you'll give me a chance, is all."

When Saffron first met Sam, the first Sam she knew, she'd started out being friendly with him because she adored his brother. But then Sam had had become a friend in his own right, one she valued highly, and now she hates the thought of them being here in this city and not at least trying to get that back.

[theprodigalson]

It shouldn't be hard, Sam thinks. He's never been the type to not give people a chance. But after Ruby, after everything he knows now, after all that Dean's told him... To say he questions his own judgment is one hell of an understatement.

"So you know my brother, too," he says, still keeping his tone cool and detached. "Does he remember you?"

[jianhuo]

"No," Saffron replies, and she doesn't try to hide how much that hurts her. "Not really. I think he gets flashes, here and there, feelings, but nothing solid." The hard part is that she doesn't know if that's how it will always be with him. She doesn't know if he'll ever remember her, or any of it.

[theprodigalson]

Considering her answer, Sam only nods, short and non-committal.

"He's not really the Dean I remember much either if that makes you feel any better," he says, though he isn't quite sure why he's telling her as much. "And I'm starting to think I'm the only person in this place who doesn't remember this island at all."

[jianhuo]

It's unsurprising to hear him say that, on account of she's used to folks being from different times and things having happened to change them in some way. It's sort of comforting, but not a whole lot.

"You're not the only one," she says. "I know of a couple others who were on the island at some point during my time there who don't remember it and don't show any signs of remembering it. There's not really any rhyme or reason to who remembers and who doesn't that I can tell."

[theprodigalson]

"That really doesn't make me feel a whole lot better," Sam says, lips twisting into something that might resemble a smile on a better day. He's trying, really. To be pleasant and personable and friendly. It's not something he's ever had much difficulty with in the past, but after everything that's happened here, after everything he's learned about himself and his future... it's hard to convince himself to smile sometimes.

He gives her another half nod then. "You don't seem really bothered by any of this."

[jianhuo]

"I'm familiar with things like this happening," Saffron replies, her voice quiet as she looks down into her empty glass for a moment before looking back up at Sam. "That doesn't mean I'm not bothered by it. I'm looking at someone I consider a good friend and he doesn't even know me. It's not any easier just because this isn't the first time it's happened to me."

[theprodigalson]

Sam has the distinct feeling he should be guilty about that, about not recognizing this woman claiming to be his friend. And he is a little bit. There's still a part of him buried beneath all the self-hate and resignation that recognizes the feelings of others.

But it's nothing like it used to be.

He doesn't even know what he is any more: man or monster. So maybe it's just inevitable.

His gaze drops to her empty glass and he wipes a hand with his towel again and gives her a quick, short nod. "You want another one?"

[jianhuo]

"Sure," Saffron says, after a moment's hesitation. She's kind of a lightweight when it comes to booze, but she should be all right. She won't overdo it.

The silence between them feels wrong, awkward when it used to be comfortable, and she hates it.

"So how long have you been in Darrow?"

[theprodigalson]

With a nod, Sam pours her another glass, glad for something to focus on in the awkward stretch of silence. It's not completely unlike talking with Neil, though Neil he's grown used to. Neil he knows. Even trusts, almost.

He still has no idea what to make of this woman.

Sliding the glass to her, Sam arches an eyebrow and wipes his hand dry again. "About five months," he says, seeing no need to lie about it. "Dean's been here about four." He doesn't mention Ruby. For all he knows, this woman doesn't know her or know about her and Sam sure as hell isn't about to bring it up.

[jianhuo]

"Almost three months, for me," Saffron says, not bothering to point out that she already knows how long Dean's been in Darrow. It's not like Dean is all that forthcoming with her these days, anyhow. Not like it used to be between them, at least, not by a long shot. "What do you make of all the folks think they've been here all their lives? Your brother doesn't seem to trust them a bit."

[theprodigalson]

"Dean doesn't trust most things these days," Sam says, still a little unnerved by the fact that this woman can speak of his brother so casually. He can't help but wonder if they've slept together. Probably not here, he thinks. Not this Dean.

But maybe back on that island.

It really isn't his business either way.

"And I don't know what I think of them, yet." As far as he's been able to tell, they're not spirits. Not demons either. There are a few who possess various supernatural abilities, a few who make Sam nervous in a number of ways, but the majority seem perfectly harmless. Just civilians. Frowning, he continues to watch her carefully. "Dean has good reason to be paranoid, though."

[jianhuo]

Saffron nods. Dean's never had a particularly trusting nature, but now, here in the city, she feels like it becomes outright paranoia a lot of the time. It's not easy to get used to.

"I think they're a group to be watched," she replies. "Probably most of them are harmless, victims of this place just like us except in a different way, but there may be a few out there pose a threat."

[theprodigalson]

A man a few seats away raises a glass to get Sam's attention and he wanders over to take care of him, filling his glass before ringing up his tab.

Once done, he turns his attention back to the redhead, one eyebrow arched. "So you're worried, too," he says, though it's obvious he doesn't disagree with her. "Were you here when this place turned into a bad horror movie?"

[jianhuo]

Saffron shakes her head. "From what I hear I missed it by just a few days," she says. "Can't say as I'm bothered by not being here for that craziness. It sounded pretty wild."